A Tribute to Tita - Our Journey Now Begins

Thank all of you coming to celebrate the life of Toni Berkes. I know everyone in this room is as shocked as we are in her sudden departure but everyone knows that Toni wasn’t known for her planning abilities. It was her sense of spontaneity, humor and blind trust that everything will always work itself out if you let go and let God handle it.

Toni, “Tita”, as she was known within the family and out, overcame some very difficult times in her life but regardless of the circumstances put her children and other’s needs in front of her own! She had a sense of humor that could melt almost any stressful situation and she would put things into perspective in relation to the “big scheme of things” as she would aptly put it.

In some of the darkest times of our lives I can remember her saying to me “Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?” You couldn’t help but laugh when she said that and at that point the world didn’t seem to be collapsing around you.

As most of you know, Tita was 15 years my senior, in years and mileage by the way. She always managed to work into conversations, the story of when she was 14 and found out that our mother was pregnant with me. She said the horror of the idea that her parents were still “active” so to speak scarred her for life.

Again, Tita had a way of bringing humor to life regardless of the situation. She had strong opinions about many topics and wasn’t afraid to share them. Her honesty and frankness made her a valuable friend and mentor. If she thought you were out of your mind about something, she had no problem telling you it was a load of organic fertilizer – a rare quality in these days of intense political correctness.

However, when it came to her 4 children, Amy, Barbara, Kurt and Amanda she couldn’t have been more serious about her love for them. She was completely dedicated to their well being regardless of the impact to her. Twelve hour Saturdays at tennis matches and soccer tournaments, some with snow, were the norm for quite a while since her kids are only two years apart.

That same dedication and sense of pride passed through to her 8 grandchildren, Morgan, Sam, Sophie, Jasmine, Emily, Nathan, Grace and Corby. She always glowed when she discussed how proud she was of all her kids, their spouses and their children.

Right after our cousin Tucker died about a month ago, she grasped her own sense of mortality as we all did. She told me that regardless of the things that she endured over the course of her life, her greatest legacy was what wonderful adults her children had become. She knew that she could take the credit for that but instead she gave the glory to God for their success. She further added that despite her own shortcomings, God managed to give her so many people in her life that brought her so much joy everyday.

As we have been told so many times by less enthusiastic folks “there are just so many of you”. Anyone that has joined the family for holidays or any other occasion to eat and drink as a group knows the decibel level that we brought to the party. And despite being related, you have to break us up with a stick to end the parties.

Toni’s sudden departure leaves a gaping hole in all of our lives and makes it clear to me that we cannot take one moment for granted on this earth. What is important is making the effort to be around the ones you love, putting aside the cares of the world and not letting the stresses of everyday life steal your joy or diminish the love we have for our friends and family.

We must live intentional lives! That means taking the time to call an old friend, spend more time at home with your families and friends and less time at work. I know that the companies we work for aren’t going to put on our gravestones, what a great worker we were. Living intentionally means setting priorities, living our values without fear of what others think and most importantly living in the present.
The past is just that and Jesus compelled us to live each day as if it is our last by saying:

“And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life” “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Mathew 6:27, 34

Friends, leave here today knowing that Toni loved you and would want each of you to tell someone a funny story about her. Go from here and live Intentional lives!